Lying b***ards??

I don't know about the rest of you but I am getting particularly bored of the dross that is called advertising on our TV screens. In the space of three minutes I have been subjected to garbage from Santander, Confused.com, Quik Quid, Injury Lawyers for You and a plethora PPI grave robbers.

Santander's ad appears to claim that the people of Shrewsbury at some time this month took to the town centre to be asked vacuous questions by the said Spanish bank (apparently Eurozone's biggest bank). Now forgetting the fact that throughout the ad they miss-pronounced the town (it is not now, nor ever has been a relative of the world's smallest mammal), do they honestly expect us to believe that the residents of the town spent all day milling around the town square whilst actors purporting to be employees of the bank showed them how they could save a million quid by transferring their assets to the bank? Even less likely, surely, is the portrayal of the residents celebrating in the square when the millionth quid was saved some time after nightfall. I will happily print a retraction when Santander or it's advertising agency can prove to me to that several thousand people were jumping up and down in Shrewsbury earlier this month......

Confused.com's excuse for adverts not only have the most wretched cartoon characters and music but it has now started to advocate these appalling black boxes for cars, god if it wasn't bad enough trying to circumnavigate our fair isle we are now going to be subject to the chattering Daily Mail-reading pensioner classes trying to drive even slower whilst wearing their tweed flat caps and string driving gloves and to make it even bloody worse they are still going to driving their effing Rovers.

Quik Quid and the like are the vultures of society, offering to extend pay day loans at a paltry 1734% APR. However Wonga.com who portray themselves as loveable lenders by utilising Nicholas Parsons' voice to give credibility, warmth and security whilst lending you money at a generous 4000% APR. Bandits!

Talking of using famous people to give us the feeling that the advertisers are acceptable, step up Andrew Castle erstwhile tennis player and breakfast commentator who now espouses the virtues of ambulance chasers. How in god's name can you look yourself in the mirror man?

Finally PPI recoverers......No it is not "an important announcement!" as the screen and deep voiced actor screams out at us. It is an invitation for idiots to put their faith in your abilities to leverage a payment from the banks to compensate their stupidity first time around, and you bottom feeders get to skim off the vast majority in fees and commission.

I believe in a free market economy as much as the next capitalist but for heaven's sake the government surely needs to help the cretinous people from themselves?

Channel self promotion

God spare us! The self promotion of  Channel 4 has plunged new depths, how in god's name can they plug their coverage of effing horse racing (by the way, not a sport, professional gambling and a waste of decent television space) in the middle of their paralympic coverage?  It's bad enough having political correctness gone seriously barmy  with the presenters and voice overs without being subjected to utter drivel from the studio. Bloody BBC would do well to remember we finance them and their decision to not bid for the Paras was nothing short of a disgrace. P**s off 4 you are not worthy of  shag all. Rubbish, twaddle and drivel have all found a new domicile.